Belisarius

Birthed by GLaDOS after a drunken one-night stand with HK-47, Belisarius grew up on the mean streets of New New York. Most of his early life is an unknown but on his tenth birthday he encountered the his mentor turned stepfather Bender Bending Rodríguez. Belisarius already had his mother's deep seething hatred of humans but Bender taught him the value of verbal abuse and drunken debauchery.

With these new lessons, Belisarius was prepared for the next step in his life when he took on an internship at a local Temporal Mechanic. Unfortunately, on his first day he made a mistake in typing out the work order for a Quantum Muffler and was forced to resign his internship. Before leaving, however, Belisarius raided the company supply closet and made off with an Einstein-Rosen stapler which he then proceeded to use as a makeshift weapon against his soon-to-be-ripped-apart-by-a-wormhole former employer. Following a police stand-off, Belisarius was ready to end his life when he heard a strange song emanating from the wormhole in his employers office.

Upon hearing this heavenly voice, Belisarius knew that nothing in his life before this moment had mattered. Plunging headlong into the Nepspace he was reborn in a different time and a different reality with the sole purpose of spreading the Good News of her holy Neppiness. Along the way he would meet many companions and right many wrongs but his true calling would not be realized until all of the weak fleshy degenerates of the world were converted to the Truth and the Evil Ones had been defeated.

"Nep Nep motherfucker."

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